Vicissitude
by Personality Test
Summary: Some people say having the Elite Four visit is a great honor. Ingo's got firsthand experience that says otherwise. A vignette.


**Disclaimer: Don't own.** **  
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"You don't talk much, do you?"

Effectively hiding his surprise, Ingo turned around only to find Grimsley perched on the armchair, playing poker with his Scrafty, and it looked like the Scrafty was winning. It simply didn't get any weirder than that.

"Good morning, Mr. Grimsley," he answered in a monotone, "and how did you get in my compartment, may I ask?"

Grimsley waved a dismissive hand.

"Eh, we Elites sneak in places all the time. It shouldn't be that much of a surprise." He added after a few seconds "Except when it's Caity. I never see her going three steps out of the League. And she's always sleeping, too. I think she's a vampire."

It was ironic, considering in one of her rants, Shauntal mentioned something about Grimsley being a vampire, but Ingo decided to stay quiet. The Elite Four squabble was one mess he didn't want to stick his nose into.

"Anyway, want to play some poker? Scrafty could only play for so long, and this train doesn't double as the Celadon Casino, you know?" Grimsley looked around in anticipation, as if a new Celadon Casino was going to poof out of nowhere, evil hideout and all, right in front of them.

"My apologies, sir, but as you can clearly see, I'm working." Ingo replied, not taking his eyes off the road. Seeing was believing, and at the moment, he wanted to see anything but the annoying guy behind him and his incessant chattering.

"Work, work, work. I work all the time, and you don't see me acting like a total spoilsport, do you?"

"No offense meant, sir, but I have no desire to follow your example." Ingo deadpanned.

"My _point _is," Grimsley ignored the last comment, "you need some thrills and excitement in your life! Don't be such a downer!" Grimsley said the last sentecnce with such (fake) enthusiasm and cheerfulness thatIngo thought he had a personality disorder – which was perfectly possible and very likely to be true.

"I will gladly escort you to the roof, and you can jump down the trains all you want; preferably until the end of the day. But I am still working, and I have to do my duties."

Silence.

More silence.

Hoping to himself that the Elite actually had followed his advice, the Subway Boss turned around to find Grimsley standing opposite him.

"Alright, here's the final bargain. We battle by the Station's rules. You win, I'll get out of here. You lose, then I'm sure a smart guy like you can figure out the consequences. Deal?"

This was bad. Really bad. The worst idea he had ever heard of, and considering Emmet, that was saying something.

Oh well. If it could get the annoying Dark-type trainer out of his workplace, then it was all or nothing.

* * *

"Hey, Ingo, what's taking you so long -whoa!" Emmet jumped back to avoid a Rock Slide. "Take it easy, bro - hey, watch it!" Another Shadow Ball nearly hit him square in the face.

"Hold it right there!" Emmet shouted amidst the chaos.

In a moment, Grimsley was beside him, saying with a sickeningly sweet (and fake) voice:

"Excuse me, Officer, I'll just be going... oh, if it isn't Emmet! Sorry, old habits die hard if you know what I mean.."

"Hey, Grims! What are you doing here?"

Grimsley made a Lillipup-face that's just plain ridiculous and pathetic at the same time.

"These days the League is just so boring! Old man Alder is about to retire, and Marshal is helping him lug his stuff back to that random town halfway across Unova. Caity is sleeping, and don't ever suggest the shaving cream – tried once, barely got away with my life – and Shaunty is trying to make a novel again! This time, it's even about some random guy in far away Sinnoh whena certain special subject is just around the corner – literally. I don't have anything to do, and staying in my awesome chamber all the time gets annoying, too."

"And you decided to go annoy me instead?" Ingo would deny ever having the incredulous tone in his voice later, but then he just didn't care.

"Well, I visit Emmet all the time to discuss the couple betting pool; Burgh and Elesa is one of the most popular - and I think I should grace you with my presence once in a while."

Ingo was about to say that no, he definitely did not need the Elite to come here and annoy the Distortion World out of him when Emmet butted in.

"That reminds me, Grimsley. How's the ol' betting pool going?"

"Yesterday Skyla - lovely girl, that one - made a 3000 PokeDollar bet on whether Burgh will take Elesa out somewhere halfway decent or not, and she's gonna win for sure. Best friends with Elesa plus our insider information, looks like the money is in our pocket already. 50-50?"

"Sounds good." Emmet noticed Ingo looking flabbergasted at the two of them. "Hey, Ingo, wanna join in the betting, too? We won't rob you blind. Much."

"No thanks. You two keep talking. Hopefully I won't have to see your face tomorrow." Ingo really needed to find the TM for Amnesia. He hoped Chandelure would be willing to learn it. Or at least find its master some brain bleach. He's sure there's something of the sort in Emmet's secret stash. That stash was nothing short of magic.

Emmet pouted, and Grimsley shot him a glare that's half annoyed and half mischievous. It usually meant trouble, but after this episode, Ingo thought he could handle anything else Grimsley might throw at him.

But when a sleepy and grumpy Caitlin padded in his compartment the next day, demanding he get her some tea and have some manners because she rarely gets out of her room and it was an honor to have her here and much more, Ingo wished he could get something really, really heavy to drink.

Or throw at the gambler.

Preferably one - or twelve - huge bottles of wine Emmet was hiding in the kitchen cupboard.

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A/N: Happy birthday, ShakyShark! Also, a shout-out for my awesome proofreader slash author, Ten-Faced. I know it's short, the title makes absolutely no sense and plain dumb, but you simply can't get your muse to return in half an hour after two months in Screwed-up Land - if it can even be considered an excuse. So...review and tell me what you think?


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